How families can counter the pull of violent extremism

Michelle Walrond, mother of suspected extremist, Luqman Abdunnur (see ‘My son has screwed up his life,’ Ottawa woman says), on indications of radicalization:

1. If they don’t accept your family, they don’t accept you. If their new friends or teachers or clergy don’t want to know their family then they don’t want a “whole person” to join their ranks, they want a cog in the wheel of their mechanisms. When I converted to Islam, the first thing my imam-appointed guardian did was to ask to meet my parents. I barely spoke to my mother before I converted, but I was told if I wanted to be a Muslim, I had to make good relations with her. When I said I was once married but living on my own, he insisted on meeting my husband too. When my son, who was born Muslim, joined the mosque that taught him radical ideology, they told him and his classmates, “Most of your parents are not (really) Muslims.” And by a fabricated extension, he no longer had to give them their rights as family members. That lie was antithetical to Islam.
2. If you get to meet your loved one’s new acquaintances, it shouldn’t be too much to ask that your loved one and his or her influencers provide verifiable facts about themselves. Mr. Bledsoe says: “Involve them in conversations. Get them to talk to you.… Go where they are going, even if it’s a religious institution.… We tried to go to Nashville to meet Carlos’s friends, but they would disappear.”
3. Radical extremists prey on people with weak personalities. Unfortunately, moderate Muslim communities often encourage conformity, close-mindedness and banality. Positive influences should strengthen character, encourage creativity and innovation. In ultra-conservative Muslim communities “innovation” is a sin, but skewed interpretations of social responsibility are presented as activism. Encourage your loved one to challenge their fabrications and deceptions.

How families can counter the pull of violent extremism – The Globe and Mail.